The Academy of Arts and Imbecility:
General Intelligence and Eligibility Test

You can take this test over as long a time frame as you want and as many times as you need to to remember all the right answers. Only applicants with a 100% score or higher qualify for the Academy (which means if you disagree with one or more of our answers, even though you have been given the option to cheat, you are not stupid or malleable enough to enroll). The exam has been cleverly put together by some very smart but lazy people who have decided that the whole of one's character can be summed up in these few questions.

Read Carefully
Instructions:

  1. Click the brown button next to each answer you think is most correct.
  2. If you do not know the answer, do not guess, since wrong answers are penalized.
  3. If you check the wrong button, simply click the correct one to change it.
  4. If you have checked a button with a guess and wish to deselect the button for that question, just click the lit red button.
  5. When finished, click the "Click When Finished Button" at the end of the test. Your score will appear below it, and all correct answers will be lit with a green button. Check over the "green light" answers you didn't know to assist you in knowing what areas you still need to study.
  6. If you are penalized with a wrong answer even if you clicked the right entry, there is a bug in this program. Tough on you. Shit happens, and you better believe it.
  7. The Academy takes no responsibility for either the questions or the answers. There might actually be answers to some of the questions that are more 'correct' but are not listed because of the limited scope of using multiple choice. Some answers are partly right but only one is MORE right than the others. Would you have preferred essay questions? You have the option of submitting text explications to this exam, no less than 5000 words per question. We have the option of not reading it.
  8. Dean of Admissions has expressed the opinion that this exam is bullshit and he is too lazy to deal with it. The only way you will know you have qualified for admission is to show up at the Academy on the first day of term, and if Madam Igor beckons you in you are accepted (depending on whether she thinks you look edible by her standards).
  9. Walt Disney, Henry Ford, John D Rockefeller, Joseph Kennedy, among others, had lots of relatives. They all came to bad ends for the most part. This is no fault of the patriarchs, stingy and nasty as they might have been. There are only twelve totally virtuous people living today, in fact at any given time in world history. We do not profess to know who they are, except that none of the Academy staff is included in that category.

The countdown has begun, and you now have only one minute before you will be failed by default. You wasted too much time reading the instructions, disclaimers, etc. Trust is not a character trait that we encourage. However, you can still cheat by clicking the refresh/reload button in your browser.

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