Academy of Arts and Imbecility (Language & Literature)

"There is True Art in Interpreting the World through the Minds of Imbeciles"

	"Why do hot dogs come in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight?"
Department of Language & Literature "Over generations many a word or phrase evolves to mean its opposite" -- Gomer the Greek

Departments

Science
& Nature

Philosophy
& Religion

Sugnwch fy nhethau, bachgen bach.
Suck my tits, little man. (Reginald Hill)

LANGUAGE

Lemel and Floorsweep

The arcane meaning of words:
can you decipher this clue?

"--el 3 oz 5dwts
--eep 9 1/2 oz"

The subject of jargon is undergoing major research at the Academy, and has serious philosophical repercussions vis-a-vis serendipity, scavenging, and stupidity -- analogies in the animal kingdom are the various creatures that eat shit. Humans are the only beings that can convince their fellows that beyond your having to eat it perforce, it tastes good too and is beneficial to your well-being whether you like it or not. The premise is that any jargon invented in the cause of baffling us normals with gobbledygook can be transformed into a meaning any one of us can understand -- language recycling, you could call it. See the prototype site at Lemel & Floorsweep. Fishe's 'The Jargon Basement Recycling Catalogue' is in preparation, and is now up and running to a great extent.

[Well it was, and now it is kaput, gone, erased. Isn't life a bitch?]

In the meantime, amuse yourself with Douglas Adams's and John Lloyd's The Meaning of Liff. (See also our extension at LiffPlus.)

Also not to be missed: Ambrose Bierce The Devil's Dictionary.

The Academy CURSE Page
Bart Simpson's Blackboard
Jeeze, do I have to repeat that?

[Note: this will only work on a Windows Desktop. Click here to download it.]
This is really nice. Hook it up as a macro in your word processor, and you will never be at a loss for verbiage.

LITERATURE

Grobius Shortling's Mystery Web Sites and Other Literary Links

Mysteries -- a serious web site for devotees containing reading lists and critiques. Also an annotated bibliography of the works of John Dickson Carr.

The Casebook of William Blackstone Wildman -- idiotic detective stories by Cotton Mather Winston.

Aggie MacHale's Lover -- a ghost story by Festus McCoy.

Bad Poetry -- start of a collection like The Stuffed Owl; needs to be expanded (well, actually, why, considering that the aforementioned anthology has never been surpassed?)

The Dwarf's Tragedy -- fragment of a Jacobean play

Nadia the Lily -- a really bad one-act play.

Historical Fantasy -- a web site for readers of historical novels and fantasies, which has the potential of becoming as large as the Grobius Shortling Mystery site.

Dr Who Bibliography -- a reading list of Doctor Who books.

Seminar: An English Crossword Puzzle

The preceding entries are our published research theses. You are welcome to join or contribute to a department. We no longer accept full-time boarding students, however, as the insurance costs were too high. All you need to do now to obtain a diploma or citation from the G&F Academy of Arts and Imbecility is to contribute something to this Web Site. What you get for this is totally and arbitrarily up to the Academicians, who are a fickle bunch. If you don't know how to e-mail us, why don't you click on the Inquiries hot spot at the top of the page, dummy?